小林秀恒 Hidetsune Kobayashi

01. Feb 2025
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I didn’t read alot of mushishi (see below), but I started crime and punishment today after not being able to stand thomas bernhard any longer

31. Jän 2025
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I had a shocking day with people from uni. I saw myself in them, I hope they felt the same at least slightly about me. I havent talked to or socialized with people like this in so so long, it was illuminating and refreshing. It feels so good being able to talk about something without having to overexplain every single point that comes up. It was motivating but also somewhat concerning in regards to how I’ve been spending my social battery.
Afterwards, I’m worried how I might have appeared to the others. Maybe I was a bit too excited, and in turn desperate, to share my view of things, to have my turn to speak. I need to remember to rein myself in next time (I HOPE there will be a next time!!!! please, please let there be a next time...) Having a conversation as a group where everyone is interested in the topic and everyone has something good to say and gets their turn to speak... I cant remember the last time I’ve been in that situation. That is kind of depressing to think about

30. Jän 2025
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19. Dez 2024
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19. Dez 2024
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im reading mushishi now...

17. Dez 2024
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rory in early 20s deftones kalavinka pierce the veil ill nino

05. Dez 2024
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got me good

03. Dez 2024
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02. Dez 2024
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30. Nov 2024
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Today I dreamt that I killed 2 guys on the subway with scissors and a pocket knife because they stole my laptop. And then there was a kind of anime girl who saved me from the cops chasing me by sacrificing herself by shooting them up. I think this was the first time I have dreamt about harming someone literally, at least from what I can remember. It felt very much like a dream; vapid and trancelike. I just wanted to document it. The blood was bright red and pearly like pomegranate seeds. 27. Nov 2024
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Stollen, matcha chiffon, 3 mandarin oranges (& marzipan black tea not pictured) 16. Nov 2024
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I have been thinking a lot recently about why I chose the major that I chose, considering I’m coming from an artistic background & environment. Whenever someone asks, I simply say it’s because I am interested in the topic and think that I couldn’t have taught it myself, thus going to university for it to learn it properly. That is true to an extent, but my true motive is that I want to become a gnostic, embued with esoteric knowledge of the truth of the world and its inner workings, I want to become a mystic of biology, chemistry, physics. Science prides itself with rationality but I want it to be my spiritual beacon. The natural sciences are my kabbalah, my Emerald Tablet..

…
I guess I want to become an alchemist
16. Nov 2024
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15. Nov 2024
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15. Nov 2024
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13. Nov 2024
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The infopoint person at the natural history museum had put this up on their desk. The character seems familiar from seeing.Maybe from Digimon? I’m not sure...
10. Nov 2024
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7. Nov 2024
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1. Nov 2024
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gulugulu guruguru gururugururururu 1. Nov 2024
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31. Oct 2024
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How come nobody else thought Takaya and the chairman (Ikutsuki) were the same person? was I the only one who thought that?
And that Ms Toriumi is Yukaris mom/relative (because they have the same hairstyle) 31. Oct 2024
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31. Oct 2024 #myart
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31. Oct 2024
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My yummy tasty snack of the day.
japanese(portuguese) castella
not made with traditional methods but it tastes very good anyway

31. Oct 2024
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St. Martin gives away to the beggar 2 renditions

28. Oct 2024
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20. Oct 2024
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